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A Friendly Marriage? Ouch!

Wow! Is Japan, The Land of the Rising Sun, becoming the land of the sitting son? I mean, come on! Son, come on! Rise son, RISE! Okay, enough of that but with reports of Ushikubo’s latest book Tada Tomo-fuhfu no Riaru (The reality of the ‘just marriage mates’) giving another blow to the Japanese male, it seems that even marriage is not safe:

[Via Global Voices] For those who take note of social categories a new one has been created: that of ‘marriage mates’. The tomo-fuhfu (where literally tomo means ‘mates or friends’ and fuhfu ‘married couple’) is the new term coined by writer Megumi Ushikubo to indicate those couples who have grown apart from each other and have in common only a marriage in name, sometimes with children, but nothing more. The married ‘friends’ may not see each other for an extended period of time, don’t spend time together and certainly don’t have sex.

You may remember Ushikubo, president of the Tokyo market-research firm Infinity, and author of “Soshokukei Danshi Ojo-man Ga Nippon wo Kaeru (The Herbivorous Ladylike Men Are Changing Japan) [JT]. Ushikubo reached the conclusion that the soshokukei boys, that she labeled “ojo-man”  or ladylike men, have a combination of the following characteristics:

  • They are not as competitively minded about their jobs as men in older generations.
  • They are fashion conscious and eat sparingly so they can stay thin and fit into skintight clothes.
  • They are chummy with their moms and often go shopping together.
  • They are not interested in dating girls, having relationships, or even having sex (choosing from a plethora of “self-help” toys instead).
  • As earlier reported: “The gap between extremes of income at the top and bottom of society — measured by the Gini coefficient — has been growing in Japan for years. To the surprise of many outsiders, once-egalitarian Japan is becoming a nation of haves and have-nots.” (See full article from DailyFinance: http://srph.it/bTKbdr) Is this reason behind the changing role and terminology for men in Japan?

    I welcome your feedback and opinion on what has caused the disconnect between men in women in Japan.

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