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What would you do if your wife is sick in Japan?

30 October 2009 5 Comments

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Here is a post by Tomomi Sasaki that queries what Japanese husbands should do if their wife is sick?

“When Japanese “corporate livestock” (社蓄 shachiku) culture and values on marriage collide – more than 300 people responded to this question on the mega forum Hatsugen Komachi: Should a husband take time off work when his wife is sick?

Situation

Rina has been married for 8 years and has a daughter in the third grade. She is getting divorced and recounts an early episode in her marriage that has stuck in her mind since then.

When their daughter was a baby, Rina became very run down from sleep deprivation due to her night crying. She fell sick with a high fever and wasn’t in a state to take care of their baby girl but her husband refused to take paid leave or come home earlier than usual. Rina was extremely disappointed that he didn’t even call. It took two months for her condition to improve and she can’t forget how her husband didn’t help out at all.

Question

In a situation like this, is it selfish of me to want my husband to at least come home without putting in overtime, if not take the day off?

What about your families? Does your husband take the day off from work to take care of the kids when the wife is sick? Are there people at your companies that take the day off because their wife is sick?”

Responses

Click here to see the responses via Global Voices Online.

By the way, what would you do if faced with the same situation?

Photo from Shibuya 246.

5 Comments »

Ruby Baby said:

Heh, making conclusions from self reports is notoriously problematic but the responses highlighted by Sasaki resonate with the arguably self righteous and self-serving attitudes discussed by anthropologists like Allison and Jolivet.

The idea that children are the sole responsibility of their mothers, limits the contribution highly educated women can make to the Japanese economy. Also these attitudes, especially when they embodied in the workplace, create a disincentive for young Japanese women to start families. I think there’s a good case to make for attempts at an intervention to change the way people think about gender roles and motherhood if the government is serious about raising the total fertility rate.

# 3 November 2009 at 11:51 am

WC said:

Even in the US, it’s pretty rare for one family member to take off work because another is sick, no matter the relationship. If it was a matter of the person not physically being able to move without help, and the time off would be limited to a couple days, I could see it… But any more than that and the income drops to the point that you can’t make it. ESPECIALLY if both members had income.

So no, except under extreme circumstances that can be rectified immediately, he shouldn’t cut work to be with his sick wife. It just doesn’t make sense. The same is true in reverse as well.

# 6 November 2009 at 4:43 pm

Ruby Baby said:

She requested her husband take time off of work because she thought she was too ill to care for their child. Seems to make perfect sense to me.

You have IMHO made a case for paid sick leave in the US, though. I hear the Obama admin is looking into it. Mainly because going into work sick is generally not the best idea.

# 12 November 2009 at 7:54 pm

Ruby Baby said:

Especially in the case that you’re sick with H1N1.

# 12 November 2009 at 7:56 pm

Kuroyama said:

Depends on the work situation. Some people have a tenuous work situation. taking time off might not be too good for the career. Spouses tend to forget that the career is what PAYS THE BILLS. If her husband was unemployed and they had no money for medicine, rent, or even food… shed want the divorce then too!!!